Where's Harry Hamlin when you need him?
Are you a child of the 80’s? If so, you know the original and won’t want to see this. If not, then you still shouldn’t go.
“Clash of the Titans” is really, truly a REMAKE of the 1981 high-fantasy tale about Perseus, half-god, half man, all toga and his quest to stop the Kraken from destroying Argos
That’s all well and good. I can get behind that.
What I can’t get behind is the fact that this movie fails to remake anything. The first act, showing young Perseus, played by AvatarStar Sam Worthington, learns to hate the gods because his adoptive father does. We don’t really get why that’s a big deal, but then Hades kills his family so now he really hates them. Especially Hades. Maybe Zues too, we’re not really sure.
Stop right here. The first act of a movie has one main goal, to draw you into the story and make you care about the protagonist and hope for their success.
“Titans” fails in this quest miserably. I don’t understand what’s up with Perseus and don’t give a jot if he lives or dies.
Things get worse as we get a rapid fire introduction of military folk we know will be killed. We can’t remember their names or why they’re cool, which doesn’t really matter because Freddy Kruger teaming up with Jason couldn’t kill these guys off faster, and still, we care not.
The gods argue. They wear silly, shiny armor that makes them look like World of Warcraft characters. Liam Neeson (Zues) and Ralph Fiennes (Hades) are both fine actors, but they can’t do a thing with this plotless muddle.
So I’m telling you, definitively, DON’T go see this movie.
But I like to find one good thing in any film. Gemma Arterton (Io) is hot. Super-duper mega hot.
Immortality never looked so good...
She’s not worth watching the film for, but hey, hot immortal lady!
Again, skip “Titans”. Maybe the re-RE-make will be better…
